Dusty
When I got off the trailer, I knew this life was going to be vastly different than the one I knew before. Part of my heart felt heavy at the thought of never going home, but I knew I had no say and my best chance of peace would be to forget the past and accept my new life.
They lead me into a large pen, where it felt like a hundred horses stood in small clusters, munching on large piles of hay. The halter dropped off my head and I did what I always did, I found a place to chew hay away from the others. I watched and minded my own business for severl days, then the energy changed. Small two-leggeds poured into the pen and scattered, swinging halters and picking horses one by one. One of the older children picked me and walked me into a small barn. It was very dark and smelled wet and musty. The horses were tied to a rail around the walls of the barn, uncomfortably close to one another, and the children groomed and saddled us.
They rode us down the hill to the arenas, and tied us to another rail, cramped together. I glanced at the other horses, who all immediately went to napping. I watched horses come and go, ridden in groups of 20-30 at a time in arenas. I was ridden twice, then they rode us back to the dark barn, took our tack off and took us back to the pen. This repeated once every 7 suns. After many moon cycles, I realized that the monotony was miserable, but started to understand that I had to accept it. So I did. I napped on the rail, I trotted or cantered around carrying children every other hour, and then went back to the pen until another 7 suns passed.
It was a normal day, like any other day, a bit cloudy with a slight chill in the air. I felt a strange depth of air enter my lungs. I lifted my head from my nap and turned to see a thin, nervous girl approach me. She said the name that I had been given, Dusty. Her hands were very gentle on my neck, and I felt the warmth from her fingers even after she moved her hand away. I sniffed her, perplexed as to why this child seemed different than the hundreds of other children that passed. There wasn't anything noticably different. When she rode me that day, she laughed, she asked for things rather than yanked or kicked. The elder two-leggeds barked at her for this, but she paid them little mind. She stroked my mane often. When she tied me up after the ride, she lingered for a long while, smoothing my forelock until I closed my eyes. She walked away and I watched her go. She turned to look back, and was surprised to see me watching her.
Over the weeks, I looked for the child. I would hear her laugh and look up to see her in a crowd. She always stopped to watch if I was being ridden, and always stopped to visit if I was tied at the rail. She would offer me treats, but I was more happy just to have her there, her warm hands stroking my neck.
The other two-leggeds started to notice that I watched her. They’d point it out and laugh. The girl would always laugh back. Summer came around and the children started to ride more often. Many of them rode the same horse every week, and I felt a buzz in the air when they got the horse they liked. I silently hoped that I’d get to see the thin girl more. Her turn to get her assigned horse came and she looked at the paper with a frown. She looked at the girl behind her and they puzzled over the paper. The elder two-leggeds looked surprised but nodded.
The thin girl just short of sprinted to me. Her heart was so full of love and joy, it filled me with a buzz I hadn’t felt in a very long time. She hugged my neck, and I remembered something from the part of my life I vowed to forget - the great love that humans could hold.
She rode me twice a week that summer, and it felt so warm and golden the whole time. The girls she laughed with often called me “Googly Eyes” because I had strange eyes according to them. She often groomed me until my coat shimmered. I didn’t have a pretty coat, it was the color of dried mud. But she made it glisten like gold. My mane and tail were thin and scraggly, but she was careful to brush them and help the hair grow a little bit thicker. She would walk backwards when she let me go in the pen every night, and I would watch her until she was out of sight.
As she grew, she had to ride other horses. But any opportunity she got to pick me, she’d skip joyfully to me and my heart would fill with love. I always knew where she was, and she always knew how to find me. Eventually, when the children grew too old, they stop showing up. I dreaded the day, but after 10 years, it arrived. She hugged me in the field, her throat so tight she could barely make sounds. Hot tears slipped onto my neck. If I could cry like that, I would have. I knew what was coming, and my heart felt like the light left it. She walked backwards away from me, one final time.
I carried on, letting children ride me every week. I never met another child that filled my heart the way she did. It was several years later, during the part of the year where the plants glow and begin to die. They held an event where all the horses and children ride in at a strange, large barn. I was napping in the tiny stall that they crammed us in, and a feeling tickled my lungs. My head jerked up and I looked around. It was a feeling that I knew well from the past. I waited. The new kid that I didn’t really like too much arrived and got me ready for the event. We walked into the arena and I searched the crowd. The kid kicked and yanked, telling me to pay attention. How could I do that when My Kid was here, somewhere in this crowd?
Finally, my strange eyes found her. She laughed in the stands and I stopped and turned to look. She was startled to see me staring at her. My heart filled with love, despite the other child kicking me with all their strength. I carried on, but kept my eyes on My Kid all the while.
Later that night, in my stall, I waited. I could still feel that flutter I always felt when she was around. The bustle had died down and the barn grew relatively calm. Footsteps approached down the hard floor. I looked up and there she was. Her heart swelled with love, and mine did too. A small nicker escaped me, something I didn’t know I could do. Tears poured down her face and she came into the stall and wrapped her arms around my neck.
A part of my heart returned every time I saw her over the years. She would come to the yearly event and stop to share her love for me. I always felt when she was around, and I always felt the light return when my strange eyes found hers.
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